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So, after glutting on Obama-mania (the kool-aid was cool and refreshing and full of inspiration, passion and charisma), I recorded Fringe because, really, it can't be as bad as I remember.
So, I watched and despite the opening fight sequence that is way too Chuck Norris for the story - Olivia nails one of her abductors in the back with a pair of thrown scissors, y'all. I mean, please - it's not as bad as I remember it.
It's worse.
Olivia escapes her abductors, flees, has a moment of Smart, which is not unusual for this show which is populated entirely by Very Smart People in a story so stupid, Stupid is offended to be associated with it, and is then shot with a tranquilizer dart. Wait, what?
Yes, apparently the Department of Homeland Security's internal investigations unit apprehends agents suspected of wrong-doing the same way a park ranger deals when Smokey the Bear wanders too close to the suburbs.
Olivia, too, wakes up drugged, restrained and in an unfamiliar environment where she is bitched at - to call it an interrogation would imply that non-rhetorical questions were asked - by the man she investigated (although they use the word "prosecuted" - uh, did Olivia become a lawyer when I wasn't looking?) for sexual assault. Apparently, now that his conviction has been overturned, he's been put in charge of the investigation into the "Fringe unit". Oh, and my story gets better - he's the consultant in charge of investigating the unit where the woman who charged him with sexual assault.
Oh, my God. Such bullshit.
Look, I'll spot you the giant cold viri that slither out of your mouth and slime across the floor. FTL space-travel - no problem. Lena Headey being old enough to be Thomas Dekker's mother - fine, sure, whatever. But you want me to believe that a government agency OR an evil conspiracy would ever put someone who had been convicted as a result of an investigation conducted by Agent X in charge of an investigation into Agent X? Are you shitting me?
And as a consultant? One of those people not bound by legislation, oaths of office or privacy laws? Please, I'd sooner buy that the Guvernator really is a killer robot from the future - Olivia's lawyer wouldn't even have to open his mouth to get that report dismissed for bias. Not to mention the lawsuit against the federal government that would follow.
I heard this episode was the first since the pilot that JJ Abrams had written and it's a sloppy, nonsensical mess, which is about par for the course for our young mogul. Why do these guys never learn that you can't actually do 18 things at the same time and do any of them well.
Peter Jackson has a rule for film-making that holds true for writing - one job at a time, every job a success. JJ Abrams should try it some time.
So, I watched and despite the opening fight sequence that is way too Chuck Norris for the story - Olivia nails one of her abductors in the back with a pair of thrown scissors, y'all. I mean, please - it's not as bad as I remember it.
It's worse.
Olivia escapes her abductors, flees, has a moment of Smart, which is not unusual for this show which is populated entirely by Very Smart People in a story so stupid, Stupid is offended to be associated with it, and is then shot with a tranquilizer dart. Wait, what?
Yes, apparently the Department of Homeland Security's internal investigations unit apprehends agents suspected of wrong-doing the same way a park ranger deals when Smokey the Bear wanders too close to the suburbs.
Olivia, too, wakes up drugged, restrained and in an unfamiliar environment where she is bitched at - to call it an interrogation would imply that non-rhetorical questions were asked - by the man she investigated (although they use the word "prosecuted" - uh, did Olivia become a lawyer when I wasn't looking?) for sexual assault. Apparently, now that his conviction has been overturned, he's been put in charge of the investigation into the "Fringe unit". Oh, and my story gets better - he's the consultant in charge of investigating the unit where the woman who charged him with sexual assault.
Oh, my God. Such bullshit.
Look, I'll spot you the giant cold viri that slither out of your mouth and slime across the floor. FTL space-travel - no problem. Lena Headey being old enough to be Thomas Dekker's mother - fine, sure, whatever. But you want me to believe that a government agency OR an evil conspiracy would ever put someone who had been convicted as a result of an investigation conducted by Agent X in charge of an investigation into Agent X? Are you shitting me?
And as a consultant? One of those people not bound by legislation, oaths of office or privacy laws? Please, I'd sooner buy that the Guvernator really is a killer robot from the future - Olivia's lawyer wouldn't even have to open his mouth to get that report dismissed for bias. Not to mention the lawsuit against the federal government that would follow.
I heard this episode was the first since the pilot that JJ Abrams had written and it's a sloppy, nonsensical mess, which is about par for the course for our young mogul. Why do these guys never learn that you can't actually do 18 things at the same time and do any of them well.
Peter Jackson has a rule for film-making that holds true for writing - one job at a time, every job a success. JJ Abrams should try it some time.
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